Caution: Unhappiness (& horrible grammar) ahead.

Feeling really very disappointed today (or rather every time I touch the disc). I’ve never been born or even built to be a frisbee player, much less be a team player amongst more experience frisbee ‘regulars’. Honestly, I wanted to just tear up after today’s training (which was shit I swear) ‘cos I was so bad. seriously. It’s like ambitious me trying to get into RV frisbee team all over again.

/lol jamos just walked in like a penguin & asked me what was I doing/

ANW the inferiority complex war within me was stronk. Almost everyone else with/without prior in-game experience were recognised and more importantly improving from the scarce amount of training time we had. Then there’s me with off-putting forehand throws & less-than-desirable defence (as I was center wall). In short, I felt that I’m always the unnecessary player being picked out to ‘fill the gaps’. (Then again, that could be because my 12-year long table tennis career(? lol) left little room for me to gain momentum in team sports)

Speaking of filling the gaps, I swear our wall was so feeble that crumbling was almost always the one and only option (tho it’s not up to me to say anything) and being center wall…guess the blame is on me. Altogether, it felt that if the ‘regulars’ were blunt, they could have criticized my throws so badly.

Yup I was proven, by myself, that I was the most undeserving player of the gold medal won during BMT games day. Just trying to keep my heads up, conceal emotions & do my best for the sake of the team. I promised that I was never going to touch a disc for competitive purposes after JC, but oh well, why did I even win the scissors paper stone to get into the BMT team? I wasn’t even worthy of that spot. Please make tomorrow the last day I’ll touch a disc with stress gushing through those veins of my bony hands.

Oh and another thing that contributed to the disappointment is that my mom decided not to come for the Family Day shit. Means I’ll be all alone while 90% of the entire world would be having a good time with their parents. It would be unthinkably awkz for me to tag along with any of my mates And yea I can forget about taking ‘The Beatles’ Abbey Road album cover wannabe photos. pfttt.

Shall cry myself to sleep now. #justkidding

I felt exceptionally connected to today’s sermon on Family idk why haha Anyway, after church, we headed to Nakhon Kitchen at Kovan for lunch. It was a treat after I got my first pay 😊

We reached at about 11.30am, half an hour earlier than the opening time of the small restaurant, so we decided to take a walk around Kovan City. Btw, my first impression of the restaurant was ruined because not only did they bush us off when we arrived, but also shut their roll-up metal doors in our faces. Check out my bros angry/disappointed faces ☝️Ahaha In the end, we ended up walking from one floral&landscape shop to another along the same stretch of road haha 
I couldn’t resist to take photos of these beautiful flowers👇

This flower 👆 is commonly seen during Chinese New Year yet I’m clueless what it is called.

Bee feeding of the nectar of these pretty flowers!

Hibiscus🌺 👆

Omg I was quite fascinated by the whiteness of this orchid 👆. And in the end when we reached back at about 11.50am, there was a growing queue outside Nakhon Kitchen. just wow. We were meant to be the first customers?!?! ok but nvm at least we got a table 😅

Ok, now time for the #foodporn part of this post 😜

#1: Stir-fried Thai-Style Kang Kong
👍

Price: S$6

Review: The Thai version of kang kong was very different from the chinese style of cooking belachan kang kong (you can totally tell from the much more watery sauce in the following 2 images). I didn’t like the Belachan (i.e. Dish 2 below) as compared to the Thai-style one, I think it’s just a personal preference kinda thing honestly.

#2: Stir-fried Belachan Kang Kong

Price: S$6

Review: I felt that the Chinese style of cooking belachan kang kong was much more delicious compared to this. This dish is missing dried shrimp (or maybe they did put some, but added a smidgen of it), nonetheless still yummy 😛 (partly because I was starving before I came).

#3: Clear Seafood Tom Yam Soup 👍

Price: S$6

Review: This harmless-looking soup packs a punch I swear. It’s much spicier than the thick-base tom yam shown below. Ingredients include fish, sotong, prawn and mushrooms. I feel that this is truly the authentic Thai Tom Yam Soup that everyone should try someday!

#4: Phad Thai Tang Hoon

Price: S$6

Review: [PS for the unfocused picture] Fried 冬粉 (cellophane noodles) will usually turn out exceptionally dry and clumpy? but this wasn’t the case for Nakhon Kitchen’s Phad Thai 冬粉. This dish is served with spices and crushed peanuts(?) at one side as shown below, so it’s better to mix it if you have high spicy food tolerance threshold.

#5: Pineapple Fried Rice.

Price: S$6

Review: This dish is of average standard? Pineapple was scarcely seen except for just the few big pieces at the side. Can’t compare to the Indian version of it served at Raffles Marina Bistro. But the fact that plain fragrant rice was $1 (twice the average price of normal white rice served almost anywhere) made ordering pineapple fried rice almost a must.

Erm, we still ordered plain rice in the end because the pineapple fried rice & oriental fried rice didn’t come (in time) lol and the portion wasn’t enough for 5 big eaters like us. 

#6: Pad Ga-prao Mu (Stir-fried minced pork with Holy Basil)👍👍
Price: S$6

Review: This is my favourite!! OMG it was so delicious I poured the sauce over the pineapple rice and finished up all the long beans, chilli & onion AHAHA (it’s quite oily though.. omg I just received a reminder that I’m enlisting on the 4th #justsaying #burningmyfatswithextrachilli)
oh we also did order the beef version of Pad Gao Prow but it wasn’t as delicious, partly the minced beef was rather tough…

#7: Chicken wrapped in Pandan Leaves (#insightfulname)👍

Price: S$6

Review: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO COME IN FOURS (nah it’s just that I’ve a family of 5). My bro ate one so there’s 3 left in the picture below (I should disclaimer: all pictures not snapped to scale lol) I liked the sweet chilli sauce that comes with this dish and the tender chicken after peeling away the pandan leaves.

#8: Sitr-fried squid with Thai yellow curry powder

Price: S$10

Review: This was the most expensive dish we ordered yet I found it the worst #oops But I think (once again) it’s entirely based on personal preferences because my brothers actually enjoyed the thick curry (powder) sauce, while I didn’t like it at all. The squid itself was crunchy, I guess that’s the only decent part of the dish? 😛

#9: Homemade Thai Fish Cake

Price: S$6

Review: I objected ordering this dish at first, but after I tried it, I felt thankful that we ordered it in the end hehe They totally nailed the spongy 口感 (omg first chinese words that came to my mind Im sorry) of the fish cake, and the sauce that comes with this dish just complements the fishcake. Awesome.

#10: Cha-yen (Thai Ice Tea)

Price: S$ per cup

Review: I felt that the drinks here is a little over-priced, especially when almost half the cup is filled with nothing but ice. The ice tea was a little too sweet (so adding a bit of plain water that they’ve provided from the start did the trick), so overall not too bad #stillfearfulaboutNSthough

#11: Red Ruby

Price: S$3

Review: I personally don’t like dessert because they’re always so sweet?? and Red Ruby was no exception. (I still like ice-cream though)

There are a couple more dishes that I didn’t post because I was too busy eating HAHA So overall, we ordered 12 or more different dishes (not including drinks & plain rice ofc) and I foot the $92 bill. (I swear they are lazy to deal with coins that’s why the cost of their dishes are mostly all even numbers and their Thai “fragrant” steamed rice is $1…I can’t help but harp over it I’m sorry.)

Here’s this wannabe’s ratings:

Food: 8/10 (The food was no doubt splendid. Totally felt like a glutton after today’s lunch.)

Service: 4.5/10 (Seriously? 😒 shutting your doors in our faces? and omg please plaster some smiles on your faces tyvm I wonder what happened to “Thailand — the land of thousand smiles”..perhaps that was misplaced along the 2hr flight to Singapore?)

Environment: 7/10 (More fans could do wonders especially so for customers (like yours truly) who are trying our best to down the tom yam soup and other authentically spicy Thai cuisines)

Okay put aside crude comments, I would nontheless recommend those who has a(n) eye tongue for spicy food to head down to Nakhon Kitchen for authentic Thai cuisine because it’s truly like dining in the land of thousand smiles😄😄😄 (except for the waiters)

YAY.

People, regardless where you are, what you’re doing, just watch this inspiring video and I guarantee you the next moment you’ll treasure life like there’s no tomorrow 😌

“Life is not about winning the race; life is about finishing the race and how many people we can all help finish this race, how we can start being kinder to each other…and in the end, it may be you that needs help finishing the race.”

It has been a while since I’ve watch such insightful and touching video on Facebook. Love my mom so much I don’t wanna live the life of this guy I’m sorry 😞

First I’ve to admit that I have a pretty serious love-hate relationship with my job as a surveyor. The enticing “flexi-work-hours” thingy that the employment agency sugarcoated my currently job wasn’t as flexi as I thought it would be, in office it was 8 to 5 but after I started working from home, it became 9 to 1130pm??? And worst of all I signed (or rather I’m ignorant that I signed) for 3 to 4.5 hours of nonstop walking 🚶🚶🚶🚶 because transport cost is already ‘included’ in my meagre salary.

But more importantly this job is pretty satisfying, in a way, because it (truthfully) paints a realistic portrait of not just the humble, caring 😇 side of Singaporeans but also the ugly 👺 (and even menace) of our once thought-to-be bed of roses orchids. I interview many different types of Singaporeans, of different races, varied/contrasting backgrounds, spanning across the entire social hierarchy / corporate ladder. Some who are desperate to find any job, some who are exasperated and quit searching for job, some who are just too lazy and expect the government to spoon feed them / pamper them with unemployment benefits. There are others who do well in the corporate arena and are very open to flaunt their achievements; while some of these highflyers are so stuck up and arrogant. And of course there are those wannabes who preach as though they are highflyers, but honestly, all they need is a simple reality check. So every individual that I visit is a new encounter despite being guided by the identical questionnaire. The anticipation every time I’m waiting at the doorstep of a unit is sometimes so overwhelming, especially if I let my imagination run wild 👿 But thankfully, more than often, someone approachable will answer the door 😌

Sometimes phone calling experience exaggerates the callousness of Singaporeans, but hey, when I go for face-face talks, it’s like ten times better Haha I’m not expecting any kind of hospitality but their tone tells it all.

And after working and interacting with grown-ups, besides realising that I need a job with some form of human interaction, I feel very much more independent. No longer shackled to the will of my parents (but not like I’ll become more rebellious 😒). Anyway, I still am deciding when & where to treat my family 👪, since I got my first pay (which isn’t a lot #justsaying so don’t rob me 💸), thinking of going some secluded place with few people but with delicious, affordable food for dinner! I was thinking going for some Thai food @ Thai Tantric or Joe’s Kitchen that’s near Queenstown 👑!

Gonna update here👇if I ever go there:

Thai Tantric: Orchard Towers, 400 Orchard Road #03-23 S238875 (Operating hours: Mon to Sun from 11am to 3pm and 6pm to 3am(wuttt??? but okay))
Review: (pending)

OMG OMG 😱 latest update, there’s this Thai restaurant at Hougang that looks even better! 😋 okay I’m gonna note down the venue 👇:

Nakhon Kitchen
136 Bedok North Avenue 3 #01-166
Singapore 460136
Tel: +65 6245 5548
Daily: 12pm – 3pm, 5.30pm – 10pm

212 Hougang Street 21 #01-341
Singapore 530212
Tel: +65 6286 8785
Daily: 12pm – 3pm, 5.30pm – 10pm

Review: [credits to Quah & her gang for insta-ing multiple pictures of their delicious dinner? HAHA]

(pending)

[UPDATE 25/01]: refer to the blog post dated 25/01 for the review and tantalizing images of genuine Thai cuisine.

Anyway beside the family treat that I’m planning, I’m also very keen to get a ukulele of my own 🎸 (idc, that decitfully looks like a uke since ukes come in all shape and sizes) Ever since my bro brought back a soprano uke (because of some school IDP) I’ve been the one benefiting hehe😅 playing it all day at home when I’m tired of work. Trying to learn the entire Riptide by Vance Joy 😍 He’s such a joy to listen to!

Currently (like a few hours ago lol) enjoying the rather long journey on 🚍198 from West Coast Highway to Queenstown haha solitary moments on cosy buses are so satisfying after a long day’s of walking 😌😌

(Note to self, I could actually go to Nakhon Kitchen then go get the ukulele which is at Simei)

This video just made my day 😊

I gotta do this some day with my bestest pals manz! All their recounts of their childhood and short yet valuable personal experiences are so touching I can’t even… And they had to finish up with the first song I sang at karaoke with my beloved mum 🙉 (I bet I sound horrible then)

Anyway fishing with family was so relaxing until it gets hawtt and my nose starts runnnnninggg 👃💧😪

Here’s a picture to sum up my morning!

Scrolling through Instagram and Twitter is like visiting some food galore or some travel fair…I mean people are enjoying themselves, truly. Even group conversations on phone would be like ‘…lets go to River Safari, café hopping, Gardens by the Bay, Escape room, go on a trip together to so and so land…’. So long as I have friends, the list never stops (dk if I should be thankful for that). #reasonwhyImuteconvos Then there’s always me, with a very exotic holiday plan: find a job, work (that would prolly take up two-third of this short break I have), family outings, family trips, sketching, fishing, swimming, jogging, guitar…more guitar…more sketching…It’s a no-brainier to spot the difference between these contrasting ‘plans’.

Then again, if given a life of which I could cherry pick from these two ‘plans’, it would be a fine balance between family, friends, no work (come to think of it), guitar, sketching & exercise (& more exercise to train for NS). And of course, money is always the limiting factor. Now, to put it blandly, I am dead poor (or at least that’s what I was made to feel / be). No use complaining about how others can enjoy all they want, while I’m left with an option to work or rotathomedoingnothing. And I can’t blame friends for leaving me out and all…’cos hey who wouldn’t want to have fun after all the past years of studying so hard? But I do wish that people understand the queer situation that I’m stuck in, and not think otherwise.. (not gonna think to much on this)

After I get my job, which I don’t even know how I’ll cope with, I’ll just force myself to leave those social life ‘cos I’m not cut out for such lifestyle, I guess. Friends will leave, but it doesn’t matter anymore, as only those who care will stay. So exhausted mentally after running about from home to Raffles Place then back home then to Clark Quay (and just waiting) for the interviews.

Today’s reward was mum’s home-made spaghetti. But besides that the rest of the day was buzzing phone — either msgs from friends planning to go out (for whatever reasons), or calls from interviewers. Anyways, got a rap/pop song, remade by Bastille, that I’m quite hooked onto: What Would You Do. Insidiously funny how the chorus resonates so well with me.

Looking forward to fishing/exercising tomorrow(?)

I knew it, my parents have no mercy. I hate to say this but, do they not know how to ‘put oneself in the shoes of others’? I mean, what’s up with all the rush and pressure to go find a part-time job? Previously they were so freaked out that I’m spending more than half my life in school for CCA, school-related programs… and want me to be home (and be a mommy’s boy) sooo badly, even accused me of treating home as a hotel?? Have promised not to rant, but I can’t hold it in anymore? pent up frustrations are the worst to digest.

NOW I CAN’T EVEN STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE C’MON because all that matters is all the busfarespendingtoomuchtimeneverhelpbrother…and what not. I feel like I’ve been depicted as though my purpose on this earth is to slog all day and toil all night. Rules are rules, yes I understooded that for the umpteenth time, and I do agree no doubt. But what’s causing my frustration is the fact that I am hindered from doing things that I’ve interest in, while consigned to some nightmare that I’ve zero interest in. And regarding looking for a job, I was originally excited to be a tutor (if I can be one tho), but after all that continuous (& irritating, I’m sorry) “so what’s your plan?” “So you’re gonna spend your next few months before NS slacking away?” convo-openers, I got tired. Not tired of searching for a job per se (I will find a job with people I enjoy being with, not spending my day rotting in the house), but tired of all the constant repetitive chivying from them. And of course I know the “but 这都是为你好…” package that will be coupled to my complaint of their nags.

All I can say is that if we’re truly living out the ‘ A house is made of bricks and stones, a home is made of love alone” motto that is framed up on the wall since forever, I’m living in a house. I’m just so so thankful that I made it through the tough period without falling ill, crying myself to sleep, etc…, and on day 1 of what’s left of liberty, I’m framed by my parents of being a statue – idling my life away. Just wow. And I was quite sure that parents were a gift from God to guide. Yes, guide; not enforce what they can’t achieve on their child, or what they’ve achieved decades ago (that may not be relevant today) on their child for that matter.

To quote some personal development website, “…Parents do all this not to get any benefit from their children, but only with the hope and belief that their children will become pious, educated, and respectful to their parents, useful to their family, society, country and a living example of success.” If I can’t be whatever ideal child they’ve aspired me to be, I’m sorry, but allow me some space, I beg, to grow in the direction I wish; and yes I’ll do you proud in a different way from what you deem being successful is. And please, it’s not always about the dollar and cents that you’ve gotta nitpick everytime, because everyone needs as much enjoyment as the amount of time spent slogging off. And enjoyment (unfortunately) comes with costs. After a hard day at work, what gives you the enduring strength is to be blessed with a family that you know you can count on. Similarly, what more do I need than for understanding parents to give me some breathing space.

I’m not eight, I’m eighteen. But that doesn’t mean I’ve disrespected you by voicing out how I feel / what I truly want, albeit sometimes quite crudely. It hurts every time I say something that’s abstract, not realllyyy pleasing to the ears (and usually that has to do with costs/money/enjoyment), and immediately I’m labelled as a sinner for “disobeying my parents”. I don’t know why I’m always getting caught up in false dilemmas. Be it ‘disowning family by going out with friends’, or ‘recklessly spending cash whenever I step out of the house’.

However, I’ve still got to admit, I love my family (esp. both parents) very very much regardless of all the ☝️ ‘flaws’. Because they’ve always wanted the best for me and never fail to keep me ‘on track’ whenever I steer away in the past. But, I guess now that I’m a lil’ older than how you wish I would remain forever, I need space. I need a hug. now.

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.” I need a home with much care, not a house that cause me more despair.

Oh and BMAT results were disappointing overall 😕 but thanks to whoever helped me for physics, I did pretty well for the scientific knowledge part (in my own opinion). I wish A level results will be better??? 😛

It’s 4 minutes to a new day. 30th of October that is.
It’s 4 days to the beginning of a month-long uphill battle. Nonetheless, nothing beats the feel of Oct 30th.
It was the 30th of October, 2005. Sunday, as usual, has always been a Church day for my family since young. From my fuzzy memory, I still recall holding some Sunday school art-and-craft piece of work while on the way to my grandparents’ home (which was a mere stones throw away from Church).
But something that day left a deep scar in my heart. It was a Sunny Sunday, bright and scorching; Yet to me, it was poignantly the darkest, saddest, most melancholic Sunday I ever had from then on.

My most beloved grandpa gladly accepted the Lord’s calling and went back to be with Him.

On Earth, my grandpa was the compass through my darkest days. My flair for Chinese, my interest in Origami, my love for the Lord…he’s all in me I guess.

He has never forsaken me, just as how the Lord loves me. Driving me from kindergarten (I’ll never forget); bringing me to Church at Bukit Timah, then going for lunch at Beauty World, for Japanese food or 杂菜饭 (which I enjoy just as much); protecting me from spankings (though I really deserve them); just speaking to me about God during the later years when he became bedridden and I went on to Primary school. It’s all coming back *Sobs* and the fact that I’m never getting a chance to relive those moments makes them more precious and intimate to me.

And on the side note, I really do commit the quirkiest of things to my memory. Like how I need people to scratch me to sleep every single night when I was a little toddler. And Like how I got a lil’ phobia of the metal strings of the guitar when my grandpa brought me to church. (I think I was messing around with the bass that’s why) Who knew that 13 (or 14?) years down the road I’m now hooked onto the strums of the guitar resonating in my mind.

Come to think of it, I was foolish to hate the fact that “people come and go” just because of my grandpa’s passing. I guess, people come into our lives to leave footprints in our mind; and when they leave, they have theirs satisfied knowing that they have committed themselves to a greater good. As the eldest grandson, I dare say that I’ve left him with interesting memories as much as how he had shown me the meaning of love.

When I was really little, & companionship I lack, “公公 will be there to scratch my itching back”.

When I grew a little, & off to kindergarten, “公公 will be there” was his usual comforting slogan.

When I grew a little (more), & graduated from Green Pasture, 公公 presence was there as Love’s perfect caricature.

When it was time to part, & worlds apart we will be forevermore, ”公公 will live on in my heart” I swore.

Now, even when as little as I grow, & as time erodes, I can vividly picture him in his comfy home clothes.

30th of October,
the last day I lied next to 公公, but he was not already with me, then I was no longer sober, and instead found myself drunk on melancholy.

—
On a happier note, today was our family day to celebrate(?) 公公’s anniversary. Heck the intense studying, though I still brought bio along, but went to Suntec for a good dinner!

Still a family after all 🙌