It’s 4 minutes to a new day. 30th of October that is.
It’s 4 days to the beginning of a month-long uphill battle. Nonetheless, nothing beats the feel of Oct 30th.
It was the 30th of October, 2005. Sunday, as usual, has always been a Church day for my family since young. From my fuzzy memory, I still recall holding some Sunday school art-and-craft piece of work while on the way to my grandparents’ home (which was a mere stones throw away from Church).
But something that day left a deep scar in my heart. It was a Sunny Sunday, bright and scorching; Yet to me, it was poignantly the darkest, saddest, most melancholic Sunday I ever had from then on.

My most beloved grandpa gladly accepted the Lord’s calling and went back to be with Him.

On Earth, my grandpa was the compass through my darkest days. My flair for Chinese, my interest in Origami, my love for the Lord…he’s all in me I guess.

He has never forsaken me, just as how the Lord loves me. Driving me from kindergarten (I’ll never forget); bringing me to Church at Bukit Timah, then going for lunch at Beauty World, for Japanese food or 杂菜饭 (which I enjoy just as much); protecting me from spankings (though I really deserve them); just speaking to me about God during the later years when he became bedridden and I went on to Primary school. It’s all coming back *Sobs* and the fact that I’m never getting a chance to relive those moments makes them more precious and intimate to me.

And on the side note, I really do commit the quirkiest of things to my memory. Like how I need people to scratch me to sleep every single night when I was a little toddler. And Like how I got a lil’ phobia of the metal strings of the guitar when my grandpa brought me to church. (I think I was messing around with the bass that’s why) Who knew that 13 (or 14?) years down the road I’m now hooked onto the strums of the guitar resonating in my mind.

Come to think of it, I was foolish to hate the fact that “people come and go” just because of my grandpa’s passing. I guess, people come into our lives to leave footprints in our mind; and when they leave, they have theirs satisfied knowing that they have committed themselves to a greater good. As the eldest grandson, I dare say that I’ve left him with interesting memories as much as how he had shown me the meaning of love.

When I was really little, & companionship I lack, “公公 will be there to scratch my itching back”.

When I grew a little, & off to kindergarten, “公公 will be there” was his usual comforting slogan.

When I grew a little (more), & graduated from Green Pasture, 公公 presence was there as Love’s perfect caricature.

When it was time to part, & worlds apart we will be forevermore, ”公公 will live on in my heart” I swore.

Now, even when as little as I grow, & as time erodes, I can vividly picture him in his comfy home clothes.

30th of October,
the last day I lied next to 公公, but he was not already with me, then I was no longer sober, and instead found myself drunk on melancholy.

—
On a happier note, today was our family day to celebrate(?) 公公’s anniversary. Heck the intense studying, though I still brought bio along, but went to Suntec for a good dinner!

Still a family after all 🙌